3 Things Mindful People Do Differently
Slow down to reach your goals faster
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Mindfulness is a superpower to deal with Pandora’s box.
Oprah Winfrey taught me so.
I feel her mindful attitude and zen vibes every time I watch or listen to her.
I was a big fan even before she became a successful talk show host.
In one of her interviews with Dr. Phil, she said,
“What I know for sure is that if you are mindful and present in all encounters, life becomes richer and more rewarding — not just materially, but spiritually.”
This thought resonated with me, and I started to pay more attention to how mindful people live their lives.
After spending several years observing mindful people, reading books, watching interviews, and attending seminars, here are the 3 most important lessons I learned from them.
#1. They Focus on the Three Fingers
Most people have a habit of pinpointing others’ mistakes.
But mindful people choose to follow the saying, “When you point one finger, three fingers point back to you.”
It’s so easy to say, “You did this/that…You made me angry…You ruined my day…I feel bad because of you…”
If you think from a broader perspective, you’ll realize that it’s a victimized way of living.
You give the remote control of your mental peace to people.
Result?
If people are nice to you, you feel happy.
If people are rude to you, you feel sad.
But worse is yet to come.
When you blame people for your sadness or misery, your mind waits for their apology or appropriate behavior to feel happy or elevated.
And…and…and…
People don’t care or sometimes don’t even realize they have actually hurt you.
So who’s at a loss?
I learned a mindfulness principle at a spiritual retreat where the speaker said:
“Everything that you receive without working towards it is the result of your past karma. Accept it. Tolerate it. Finish it.
If you give it back, you elongate the karmic account, and you never know when you’ll receive its consequences — maybe this birth, next, or ten births later.
And when it hits you back, you don’t remember the cause.”
It took me 4 years to understand and reflect on this subtlety of karmic philosophy.
You don’t need to take the law into your hands by giving tit for tat.
The results of karma follow.
It may not be in the same manner or with the same multitude.
Mindful people realize the consequences of their every thought and action and act accordingly.
Action Plan
Whenever you feel the pressure to blame anyone for their meanness, pause! Just think about why they did what they did.
Give yourself ample reasons — they might be hurt, having a bad day, returning the favor of my past deeds, etc.
Accept that people can have opinions on everything — from the way I speak to the way I live.
But I have a choice whether to accept it or neglect it.
Don’t feel the urge the react to things that don’t matter.
Repeat after me:
I am the creator of my destiny.
I always create a response that brings peace, happiness, and comfort to me.
#2. They Transform Poison Into Nectar
As Buddha says,
“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
My friend was the smartest person I knew who made me realize this reality.
One day, we were arguing about something minor, and he said something that made me so angry.
I was tempted to say something hurtful back, but he stopped me.
He explained that it would be more harmful to my mental state if I dwelled on the negative thought and allowed them to fester.
He was right —
I felt much better after reflecting on my thoughts and realizing that the reason for my anger wasn’t the disagreement.
Most often, anger results from some other trigger — grudges held, mental stress, wrong beliefs, etc.
A mindful person knows this fact fair and squarely, which makes them understand the source of their emotions.
By following this mindful practice, they transform their anger into compassion, leading to a more positive mindset and better relationships.
Action Plan
The first step in converting anger into compassion is understanding why you’re angry.
This allows you to detach from your vantage point and see things as they are.
You may have been through a lot of pain or hurt in your life, and your anger is just a way of protecting yourself.
But, compassion allows you to see that anger isn’t a part of who you are, and it doesn’t have to control you.
When you realize this reality:
You love yourself.
You extend that love and compassion to others.
You see the good in people, even if they’re wrong.
You don’t hold grudges.
#3. They Know How to Change the Core of Their Actions
There’s a famous saying, “You are not what happened to you; you are what you choose to become.”
Mindful people have churned this learning to live a fulfilled life.
They stay aware of their thoughts and choose those that empower them and create the life they want to live.
They know that their thoughts determine their emotions and have the power to decide how they feel.
This means they are not thinking about what happened in the past or what might happen.
They experience the NOW.
For example, they acknowledge their feeling and understand why they feel that way.
If they feel sad, they will allow themselves to feel the sadness and try to find out what might have caused it.
This doesn’t mean that they are perfect and never get depressed. It just means that they know how to deal with their emotions more constructively.
When they catch themselves thinking negative thoughts, they acknowledge and perform the SOS:
S — Stop
O — Observe
S — Switch
Action Plan
Stop your work at the 59th minute of every hour.
Reflect on your past hour — identify the triggers that trouble you.
Acknowledge your thoughts and adopt a counter-comfortable thought response.
This practice won’t come easy, and your mind will resist.
But after seven days of this mindfulness approach, you’ll see a major shift in your thinking and feelings.
Even if the progress is 1%, you’ve nailed it!
Last Thoughts
Mindfulness has become quite popular over the last few years, and for good reasons.
Being mindful can improve your mental health, make you more productive, and even help you live longer.
More importantly, mindfulness can make you a better leader, coworker, friend, and partner.
All of these benefits make mindfulness an invaluable skill to have.
Have you tried incorporating mindfulness into your life? Let me know in the comments and responses below!
👉 If this post resonates with you, forward it on to your buddies!
And please, don't forget to hit that ❤️ button. If you’re NOT using the app, respond with the word “Awesome.“ It helps others find it on Substack.
Thanks for the support! 🙌
I’m not done yet.
Missed my last newsletter on “How Not to Let One Bad Situation of 5 Seconds Affect Your Next 24 Hours?”
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