7 things you won’t give a damn about in 10 years

Stop sweating the small stuff!

👉 If this post resonates with you, forward it on to your buddies!

And please, don't forget to hit that ❤️ button.

If you’re NOT using the app, respond with the word “Awesome.”

It helps others find it on Substack.

Thanks for the support! 🙌

---

Let's cut to the chase!

The harsh truth...we've been hoodwinked, and bamboozled by our own brains.

Remember when you thought that embarrassing moment at the party was the end of the world?

Or the all-consuming stress over that project at work?

Fast forward a decade, and what do we find?

Spoiler: not a trace of those worries.

It turns out, much of what keeps us up at night is as permanent as a sandcastle at high tide.

Caring about these fleeting troubles is like fretting over a snowstorm in July—it might feel intense now, but it's irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

We agonize over them, sure. But do they deserve our sleepless nights?

Absolutely not!

Before we dive into the heart of this post, let’s agree to challenge our current perspectives because:

The view’s different when you’re willing to see beyond today’s worries.

Here's my take on it:

1. The Approval Treadmill

Every day, we're bombarded with messages telling us who we should be, how we should act, and what we should desire.

This external noise creates an endless cycle of seeking approval, where satisfaction is always just out of reach.

My Turning Point:

I posted a picture from a trip I barely enjoyed, only to find myself obsessively checking for notifications.

The irony?

I was seeking validation for a moment that wasn't genuinely happy for me.

It was a wake-up call.

I realized that true satisfaction comes from experiences and achievements that resonate with me, not from the number of likes on a post.

That’s one of the reasons I have a very very very limited presence on social media.

But, that might not be “your” solution. I would not even suggest you do it.

Use social media as much as you want, but ask yourself:

• Who am I doing this for?

• Am I seeking validation for something I truly value, or am I chasing someone else's definition of worth?

Insight:

The real breakthrough comes from recognizing that your worth isn't tied to others' opinions.

It's about aligning your actions with your values and finding peace in that alignment.

2. The Mirage of ‘Having It All’

The phrase 'having it all' often conjures images of perfect balance:

• a fulfilling career,

• a vibrant social life,

• a happy family, and

• time for personal growth.

Life is messier and far more beautiful than that.

It's filled with trade-offs and choices that reflect our unique values and circumstances.

Remember the time when you were late at work because you stopped by to help someone?

Or the time when you ditched work to be with your family?

Or the time you went on a solo trip or car drive?

Redefinition:

I propose viewing success on your own terms.

Maybe ‘having it all’ means having time for hobbies, a fulfilling job, or simply being present with loved ones.

It's about crafting a life that feels right for you, not one that looks right to others.

3. The “You Have a Better Life Than Mine” Trap

Every time you scroll through your feed, you find:

• One friend just got promoted….

• another is vacationing in Bali, and

• another just posted a picture-perfect family photo.

Nothing’s wrong with that.

But, I’ve often caught myself trapped in thinking, "Everyone is living their best life except me."

This comparison can diminish our sense of self-worth and skew our perception of reality.

And if you compare yourself to one person on the internet, you’ll soon find yourself comparing to the other.

And then the other… until you’re convinced that people have a better life than you.

It’s an endless trap, like this one:

But the dark reality is: “Social media is a highlight reel, not the full story.”

For every picture-perfect moment, there are countless unseen moments of struggle, doubt, and monotony.

Have you seen anyone posting their vulnerable pic on social media?

Solution:

Before you dive into your social media, ask yourself,

"Why am I here?"

If it's out of habit or a desire to compare, it might be time to reassess your relationship with your feeds.

Start or end your day by jotting down three things you're grateful for in your life.

This practice can shift your focus from what you perceive you lack to the abundance you already have.

Next, unfollow accounts that trigger negative feelings and seek out those that inspire, motivate, and uplift you.

Your feed is your space. Make it a positive one.

4. The Fear of Making Mistakes

For the longest time, I didn’t make mistakes because I feared:

- Losing Time
- Losing Money
- What people will think of me
- Knowing my weakness

But, these fears were casting a shadow that trailed my every move.

I was paralyzed in stagnancy. No creativity. No growth.

I had forgotten that the path to success isn't linear.

It's a series of zigzags, each turn propelled by the lessons learned from every misstep.

Redefinition:

In the tech world, 'beta' versions are released to be tested, tweaked, and improved.

Why not adopt the 'beta mindset' in life?

View each attempt, each project, and each day as a beta version—a work in progress, open to adjustments and improvements.

This mindset shifts the focus from the fear of failure to the process of learning and evolving.

5. The Pursuit of Perfection

Just about a decade ago, I was knee-deep in the quicksand of perfectionism, scrutinizing every detail of my work, relationships, and self-improvement like it was the last defining piece of my existence.

Fast forward to today, and the concept of striving for perfection feels not just outdated, but laughably impractical.

It was like trying to catch smoke with my bare hands.

The real cost of this quest for perfection wasn't just measured in missed opportunities or the slow pace of progress.

No, it was far more profound.

It cost me peace of mind, joy in the process, and, ironically, the very growth and improvement I sought.

Perfectionism was the invisible chain that tethered me to a world of "what ifs" and "not yets."

Perfection, by its very definition, is an impossible standard because it leaves no room for error, growth, or humanity.

And guess what?

We're human.

Ten years down the line, you won't remember the projects that were perfect.

You'll remember the ones that challenged you, the ones where you fell short, learned something valuable, and got back up again.

Embracing Imperfection:

Learning to celebrate the effort and progress, not just the outcome, can be liberating.

Perfection may be the goal, but 'good enough' is often what propels us forward.

6. The crippling fear of judgment

It’s a familiar scene:

You’re on the verge of making a decision or taking action, but then you hesitate.

What if people think it’s a bad idea?

What if they judge me?

This fear of judgment can be paralyzing, turning into a formidable barrier to our personal and professional growth.

But here’s the revelation that many of us arrive at, often later than we’d like:

“The judgment of others is far less significant than we make it out to be.”

Here’s the hard truth:

People will judge you, no matter what you do.

It’s a basic human tendency to form opinions and assessments about others.

However, the weight of these judgments is often overestimated in our minds.

What can you do?

Strategies to Overcome the Fear of Judgment

1. Recognize the Impermanence of Judgment: Remind yourself that people's opinions are fleeting and often changeable.
   
   Today's judgments are tomorrow's old news.

2. Value Self-Approval Above All: Cultivate a strong sense of self-approval.
   
   Ask yourself, “Am I happy with my actions?
   Do they align with my values?”
   
   If the answers are yes, external judgments carry far less weight.

3. Limit Exposure to Chronic Judgers: While it’s impossible to avoid judgment entirely, you can choose to spend less time around people who are overly critical and judgmental.
   
   Surround yourself with supportive and uplifting individuals instead.

4. Embrace Vulnerability: Being vulnerable and authentic can feel risky, but it also disarms the fear of judgment.
   
   When you own your actions and decisions openly, you signal to others (and remind yourself) that you’re acting in accordance with your true self.

5. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially when you fear judgment.
   
   Acknowledge your courage in facing potential criticism and recognize that making mistakes is a part of being human.

7. The daunting weight of big decisions

At some juncture in our lives, we find ourselves at the crossroads of major life decisions like:

• choosing a career path,

• deciding whether to move to a new city,

• contemplating marriage, or

• pondering a drastic career change.

These moments, laden with the potential to alter the trajectory of our lives, often come with a daunting weight that can feel paralyzing.

But here's a perspective shift:

What if these 'big decisions' weren't as monumental and irreversible as they seem?

First, let's dismantle the myth of permanence that surrounds big decisions.

Unlike the movies, where a single choice can set the course of the protagonist's life unchangeably, real life is far more fluid and forgiving.

Each decision is but a step in a larger journey—a journey that is continually evolving and allows for course corrections, adjustments, and even U-turns.

Use My Decision-making Framework:

1. Break Down the Decision:

   Big decisions feel overwhelming because they are complex.
   
   Break them down into smaller, manageable parts.
   - What are the components of this decision?
   - What are the possible outcomes?
   - What information do I need?

2. Seek Multiple Perspectives:

   Talk to people who have faced similar decisions.
   Understanding their thought processes, regrets, and successes can provide valuable insights and may reveal options you hadn't considered.

3. Embrace Uncertainty:

   The fear of making the wrong decision often stems from an aversion to uncertainty.
   
   Accept that uncertainty is a part of life and that every decision carries some level of risk.
   
   Embracing this can liberate you from the paralysis of indecision.

4. Consider the Worst-Case Scenario:

   Often, our fears blow the consequences of a bad decision out of proportion.
   
   Ask yourself, "What’s the worst that could happen?"
   
   More importantly, "Could I handle that?"
   
   Often, you'll find resilience you didn't know you had.

5. Remember That No Decision Is Final:

   Few decisions in life are truly irreversible.
   
   You can change careers, move back home, end relationships that don't work, and pivot towards new dreams.
   
   Life is forgiving in its relentless march forward.

---

Before You Go

I agree, it’s easy to get caught up in the minutiae of daily life, but worrying doesn’t solve a thing.

By letting go of these seven concerns, you free up space for what genuinely enriches your life—meaningful work, relationships, and self-growth.

Start today, and in 10 years, you’ll look back with no regrets, only gratitude for the journey and the lessons learned along the way.

---

👉 If this post resonates with you, forward it on to your buddies!

And please, don't forget to hit that ❤️ button.

If you’re NOT using the app, respond with the word “Awesome.”

It helps others find it on Substack.

Thanks for the support! 🙌