Do These Everyday, If You Want to Live a Shock-Proof Life
You don't give up because your dreams are hard. You give up because you're not ready for tough times.
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I've figured something out.
I speak to a lot of people, every day, who are having an extremely rough time. They tell me about their problems, about all the things that scare them, all the crap that’s gone wrong in their lives, their dreams that seem to be slipping away.
You notice that most of them have the same plight — problems that could be prevented which end up in a lot of sadness.
It bothers me so much that it feels awful when people make silly, simple mistakes.
I could almost have been one of them – I was lucky, I came out the other side.
What saved me?
Certain little things I started doing every day that didn’t require willpower.
When I bring this up, some people mock me.
But they're missing the point.
People don’t quit because their dreams are hard. They quit because, deep down, they don’t prepare themselves to get what it takes.
Don’t get me wrong – what I do every day does not make me want to jump off a building.
It’s not lying in bed at dawn because a sniper is aiming at you. It’s not wondering if you’ll witness a friend’s death again.
But it makes me tougher every time.
If you don’t want to be buckled over by every little sling and bullet that barely brushes your skin, do it this way too.
#1. The Paradoxical Strategy Bank
Ever heard of doing the exact opposite of what's expected?
There’s untapped magic in paradoxes.
When life pushes, pull.
When the world zigs, zag.
This strategy involves creating a personal repository of counterintuitive actions for common situations. It's about changing your responses to everyday situations until it stops spinning your head.
Let’s take a recurring situation, for example. Your neighbor’s dog drops litter on your lawn:
Your first day’s response: Get annoyed. Since you can’t express your anger in front of your neighbor, you suppress it. Or vent it out in front of your family.
Your second day’s response: The same. Nothing changes until you decide to change it.
Your third day’s response: Control your anger. Keep calm and talk to your neighbor about it.
Some days go by without the dog dropping litter.
Then all of sudden, after some weeks, it starts again.
Had you not changed your thoughts, you’d go back to your first day’s response: Getting annoyed…
Now, change your thought responses before changing your word responses:
“I understand that it takes time for dogs to learn new things. I’ll talk to the neighbor and discuss if I can be of any help. Maybe put some Citrus on the lawn. as dogs hate that smell. Or any other method that we both can work on.”
Now when you talk to your neighbor, the energy will be changed. You both will feel less mentally attacked.
Shock-proofing your life means becoming a master of surprise, to others and yourself.
#2. The Emotional Alchemy Lab
Emotions dictate much of our life’s direction, yet we rarely take the driver’s seat in managing them.
Picture this: an internal lab where every negative emotion becomes a catalyst for an empowering action.
Feel fear? Channel it into research or learning a new skill.
Anger bubbling up? Use it as fuel for physical exercise or a passionate project.
This method transforms every emotional reaction into a constructive response, making you not just shock-proof, but thrive-proof.
#3. The Strategy of Narrative Weaving
Humans think in stories. It’s how we make sense of the world.
The stories we tell ourselves about who we are, what we’ve been through, and where we’re going directly influence not just our feelings, but our realities.
These narratives can empower us or hold us back.
Crafting Your Heroic Narrative
Identify Your Current Narrative: Start by recognizing the story you currently tell yourself. Is it one of victimhood, survival, or perhaps something in between? Be honest.
Envision the Heroic You: Imagine the version of you that you most aspire to be. This is the unshakeable hero, the resilient adventurer. What qualities do they possess? How do they overcome obstacles?
Craft Your New Story: Begin to rewrite your narrative. This new story should highlight your strengths, learning, and triumphs. It should acknowledge challenges but focus on how they contribute to your growth and resilience.
Implementing Your Narrative
Write It Down: There’s power in penning your story. Write about your past struggles through the lens of this new narrative. Describe how each challenge was a stepping stone to becoming the hero of your story.
Speak It: Use your narrative in your daily conversations. When talking about your life, emphasize the elements of your crafted story. This isn’t about denying reality but highlighting the parts of your experience that align with your heroic narrative.
Live It: Finally, embody your new story. Make decisions and take actions that the hero in your narrative would take. Faced with a challenge? Ask yourself, how would the protagonist of my story handle this?
By consciously crafting and embodying this narrative, you’re not just telling a story; you’re shaping your reality.
Challenges become less about suffering and more about opportunities for growth.
Your resilience becomes part of your identity, making you truly untouchable at your core.
#4. The Future-Proofing Game
This strategy is about creating a personal think tank to anticipate future challenges and opportunities.
In practice, this means setting aside regular intervals—whether weekly or monthly—to review current trends in technology, societal shifts, and personal skills or interests.
From a career perspective, I've looked at emerging skills in my field and started learning them before they became requisites. For instance, recognizing the growing importance of data analytics in nearly every sector, I took online courses to sharpen my understanding, even though my job hadn't yet required it.
On a personal level, anticipating potential challenges involves considering life's natural ebbs and flows—aging, health, family dynamics—and planning how to navigate these changes.
It's about asking, "What if?" scenarios and then mapping out how to manage them.
For example, knowing I might want to transition to a less demanding role as I age, I've started building passive income streams that would allow for that flexibility.
Each time I sit down for these sessions, I'm essentially rehearsing for potential futures. When something I've anticipated begins to unfold, I can tap into my previously thought-out strategies and adapt them.
#5. Cognitive Dissonance Leveraging
Imagine I am someone who has always valued health and fitness, believing firmly in the benefits of a healthy diet and regular exercise.
However, over the past few months, I've found myself increasingly skipping workouts and opting for unhealthy food choices. This behavior is in direct conflict with my self-image and core values around health, leading to cognitive dissonance.
Initially, this dissonance manifested as guilt and justification. I told myself I was too busy or too stressed, which only served to increase my discomfort because these excuses didn't align with my belief in the importance of health.
To leverage this cognitive dissonance, rather than allowing it to spiral into further negative behavior, I decided to confront it head-on.
I acknowledged the discrepancy between my actions and my beliefs. This acknowledgment was uncomfortable but necessary. It forced me to reassess my priorities and the practicality of my health routines.
Realizing the root of my dissonance—my unrealistic expectations and unsustainable health routines—I adjusted my approach.
I set more realistic goals, like committing to shorter but more consistent workouts and preparing healthy meals that were simple and quick to make.
This process not only helped in reducing the mental discomfort but also reinstated my belief in living a healthy lifestyle, now aligned with a more practical and sustainable approach.
These strategies transformed me from a human house of cards into a fortress.
Life will still throw curveballs. That’s a given.
The difference? Now, I can see them coming. And more often than not, I may not hit them out of the park but at least stay calm.
I let them pass by, knowing they can’t really touch me.
Ready to become shock-proof?
Start here. Start now!
👉 If this post resonates with you, forward it on to your buddies!
And please, don't forget to hit that ❤️ button.
If you’re NOT using the app, respond with the word “Awesome.“
It helps others find it on Substack.
Thanks for the support! 🙌