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It can help you in interviews, conversations or relationships in general.
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Did you know that the body does 70–90 percent of the talking without your knowledge and permission?
Yes, words are only the smallest part of communication!
Though people lie with their words, their bodies can’t.
Body language speaks volumes.
Raise your hand if you have this feeling — You meet someone, and you can tell there’s something they’re not telling you.
Maybe it’s a subtle change in their behavior.
Or perhaps they’re not as forthcoming with information as they should be.
Living in a joint family, a ten-year-old me was always intrigued by the complexity of human behavior.
The discrepancy in actions and words often puzzled me.
An insatiable urge to decipher the psychology of the human body and mind became stronger.
Not to judge others but to prevent my body from playing a different tune.
Questions like these always clouded my mind:
Why can’t bodies tell lies like a mouth?
How do I know what a person isn’t telling me?
How do I read body language?
What message am I secretly conveying with my body language?
I didn’t have a TV in my home till grade 6 to watch videos and shows on human behavior.
Internet wasn’t a thing in those days.
The computer was like an alien on this planet and super expensive.
My only rescue from the world of humans was “books.”
My parents also never disagreed with buying me books.
But somehow, they didn’t want me to read psychology books.
I still don’t know why.
Maybe they didn’t want me to judge people based on their body language and nonverbal cues.
However, I sneakily read psychology books only to improve my communication skills.
I suffered from low self-esteem and was so obsessed with improving myself that human behavioral books didn’t give me any other motive.
Now, I have read countless books on psychology, and I strongly stand by these 3 books.
They’ll not only help you decipher body language but empower you:
To understand why people act in certain ways
How we make choices, both rationally and emotionally
How we’re affected by others and the roles we play in groups
Biases that shape our perception
Recognizing and managing our own emotions and understanding others’
These aren’t just books.
They’re keys to unlocking the human psyche.
If I could, I’d hand out copies of these to everyone I meet.
But since I can’t, I’m sharing them with you here.
1]. What Every BODY is Saying
Joe Navarro, is an ex-FBI .
And he’s spilling the beans on body language, from his experiences in law enforcement.
It’s like he’s giving you X-ray glasses to see what people are actually thinking.
This book is a short crash course in human behavior.
After reading this book, you start looking at every shrug, and every hand gesture as a clue.
No, not to judge people.
But to understand why people do what they do.
It’s like learning a new language, but the language is people.
Here’s a takeaway from Navarro that stuck with me:
“The neck is one of the best places to gauge emotional or stressful responses. Touching or scratching the neck or pulling at the collar or necklace is a self-soothing behavior.”
The book made me realize that human interaction is not just about reading people.
It’s about understanding the full conversation — the one that’s not spoken.
Every twitch, every glance means something, if you have the eyes for it.
2]. The Definitive Book of Body Language
What’s great about this book is how it applies to everyday life.
It’s not theory. It’s practical. It’s an experience in itself.
The book teaches you that clues are everywhere — in the way your colleague holds their coffee cup, how your friend smiles, even in the way strangers pass you on the street.
It’s like learning to read between the lines of everyday interactions.
Some 15–16 of the book’s 19 chapters deal specifically with body language.
But, one thing that blew my mind was how much you can tell from just a handshake.
Firm, limp, long, short — each style gives away a piece of the puzzle.
It’s like a quick snapshot of the person’s confidence, anxiety, or dominance.
And it’s not just handshakes.
Take eye contact, for instance.
The Peases explain how sustained eye contact is linked to honesty, attention, and confidence, while too little can signal deception or lack of interest.
But too much?
That’s just plain creepy.
What separates this book from the other two is it talks about science.
The authors explain the mirror neurons in our brains that help us mimic and understand others.
It’s why you yawn when someone else yawns. It’s why you feel happy around happy people. It’s empathy in action.
It’s a book that teaches you to listen, not just with your ears, but with your eyes, your mind, your intuition.
Warning: This book contains crude humor!
3]. Spy the Lie
If you want to ace the game, “2 lies 1 truth,” this book is your secret weapon.
No, it doesn’t teach you how to lie. It teaches you how to decipher a lie.
(But, it’s basically the same!)
These authors aren’t just theorists or researchers.
They’ve been in the field, interrogating spies and terrorists.
That’s why they know how to break down the patterns of deception.
The authors talk about the kinds of phrases liars use, how they structure their stories, and the stress responses they can’t control.
The techniques in “Spy the Lie” are surprisingly applicable in everyday life. Think about it — job interviews, negotiations, even casual conversations.
Knowing when someone’s not being entirely truthful can be extremely helpful in building relationships.
According to the book, here are a few deceptive verbal behaviors that people use when they lie or don’t have factual answers:
Unwillingness to respond
Repeating the question
No-answer statements
Appreciating the question
Attack mode activated
Detailed responses
Too much courtesy
Unnecessary anxiety
Complaints about questions
And some nonverbal behaviors to spot a lie:
Arms crossed
Excessive slouching
Frequent blinking
Inability to make eye contact
Fidgeting
While research says there is no definite technique to tell if someone is lying, this book has the highest possibility of helping.
However, with great power comes great responsibility.
“Spy the Lie” is more than just catching liars.
It’s about understanding the ethical implications.
It’s a reminder that this knowledge should be used wisely and compassionately.
Before You Go
Human behavior is one of the most interesting subjects in the world.
It can help you build meaningful relationships by being empathetic.
I recommend taking a more active role in the experience to gain the most from your reading.
Be aware of what’s going on around you. Focus on body language and voice inflection.
If you uncover the true intentions of individuals close to you, help them change them instead of judging them.
👉 If this post resonates with you, forward it on to your buddies!
And please, don't forget to hit that ❤️ button. If you’re NOT using the app, respond with the word “Awesome.”
It helps others find it on Substack.
Thanks for the support! 🙌