Goodbye Resolutions, Happy NOW Year
Resolutions never work — save your 2022 before it gets ruined
Hey,
This is Darshak from Medium, Twitter, and LinkedIn, wishing you all a very happy NOW year.
Yes, you read that right! It’s “NOW,” not “NEW!”
Here’s why!
You know the drill. Every December/January, you make a list of resolutions for the coming year.
But how many of those resolutions do you actually keep?
Research shows that only 19% of people achieve their New Year’s resolutions.
Why do so many of us fail to follow through on our goals?
I’ll be honest — I used to be enthusiastic about making New Year’s resolutions.
Every year, I’d sit down and come up with a list of things I wanted to change about myself.
And every year, without fail, I would fail!
After a few weeks of good behavior, I would always fall back into old traps of laziness and procrastination.
Eventually, after reflecting on why I was so unsuccessful at achieving my personal goals in previous years, I realized that there was more than one solid reason for my predestined failure.
I realized that making resolutions was a waste of time and energy.
So, I stopped making resolutions and did something extremely simple and achievable to crush my life goals.
I am sure it will empower you to upgrade your life and achieve your personal/professional goals without stressing out. You won’t even need to challenge your willpower.
New Year’s Resolutions Are a “Fake Redemption” for Last Year’s Mistakes
When I consistently failed at new year’s resolutions three years in a row, I realized they were just an excuse for being lazy all year long.
I understood I was superficially trying to redeem myself by making overambitious new year’s resolutions.
The idea of being a “new you” is very enticing, but in reality, when January 15 or so rolls around, most people give up on their resolutions because they don’t feel like they can do it anymore.
One problem with New Year resolutions is that they are often not specific enough.
“Exercising more” or “eating healthier” is a vague goal.
You set yourself up for failure by committing to something you know you can’t.
Result? You feel discouraged, and it even leads to an extreme reaction like cheating on your diet or giving up on working out altogether.
How you’ll achieve your life goal without taking harsh measures is a sustainable problem statement!
Sustainability is the most important factor in making any life change.
I’ve realized that if a change is not sustainable for a long time, the brain never accepts to do it in the first place — either you do it for a few days or don’t do it at all!
What You Can Do:
Write down your major goal for the year. Let’s consider you want to eat healthier.
To crush this target, break it into smaller chunks. Here’s how:
Every day, I’ll eat two fruits and one green leafy vegetable — Achievable? Yes!
I’ll replace added sugar with natural sugars like dates, honey, etc. — Achievable? Yes!
I’ll eat out only once in two weeks — Achievable? Yes!
Buy an air fryer if you love eating fried foods. According to WebMD, air frying is healthier than frying in oil — it reduces the calories by 70% to 80% and has a lot less fat. Sounds convincing?
You can decide what works best for your lifestyle, needs, and financial budget.
Achievable targets increase your willpower, whereas lofty goals crush you even before starting!
Most New Year’s Resolutions Are Unrealistic
Most new year’s resolutions are about:
Getting in shape
Losing weight
Quit smoking or drinking
Paying attention to self-care
Prioritizing personal life over work
Though they seem achievable due to an adrenaline rush of motivation, they often remain a dream. One reason is motivation wears thin with time.
The next reason is that you try to change your life in one day, while you need time. For example, quitting smoking/drinking requires a lot of willpower, commitment, thinking, and motivation.
Also, when you make those radical changes as your new year plan, you think you’ve to get started from January 1. Failing to consider the lifestyle, needs, temptations, etc., we don’t even get through past February.
Within no time, the old enemy returns — disappointment, frustration, anxiety, and succumbing to old habits.
The new year which was supposed to be a year of change, transforms into the year of doom!
What You Can Do:
Set smaller goals. Make a three-day plan. Commit to it. If you succeed, commit to seven days. Then, fifteen and so on.
If you fail, return to square one — smaller failures are easier to digest than bigger ones!
I used this method to quit binge-watching in 2019. Though I failed miserably in January, my failure rate decreased every month.
And by the year-end, I realized that I had watched only four TV shows compared to 27 in 2018.
If you have a strong will, then take up thirty-day challenges. Declare it on social media or share it with your friends. That’ll keep your progress on track.
Setting smaller targets rewires the brain to think that everything is in reach. As a result, overwhelm, and performance pressure won’t kill your mojo.
New Year Resolutions Creates an Unnecessary Performance Pressure
New Year’s resolutions suck, don’t they!
I always stressed about achieving my new year’s resolutions before December. I felt someone would hang me to death if I failed.
Every day, I would spend my life in guilt and anxiety.
Most of you would’ve experienced the same!
But why this annual tradition makes you cringe with anxiety and fear?
Mindset!
Resolutions suck because of mindset. Since everyone around you is committing to something, you also join them without feeling the need for change.
The next reason is even more detrimental. Planning out everything on the piece of paper is often easy.
But convincing your mind to accept your goal and work towards it is difficult — this is where most of us fail.
This imbalance creates performance pressure. You want to be an achiever, but the mind wants to be a dreamer, and it rejects the change.
So, this mental friction tears you apart and makes you feel guilty for even the smallest futile attempt.
You don’t need self-imposed deadlines or constant badgering if you want to change your life.
You’ve to go with the flow and let time work for you.
Every new year is an opportunity to set out on a journey of self-discovery.
You must be patient with yourself and accept that transformation takes time.
Just because someone else quit a bad habit in a week doesn’t mean you can do the same.
What You Can Do:
Ask yourself whether you are living up to your own standards or others.
Don’t enforce a change in your life.
You don’t need to change because someone else thinks you should. Convince yourself with ample reasonings why you need to change.
Write down the brighter prospects of a change and reflect on it daily until your mind agrees to be on the same page.
Also, prepare a failure plan — what would you do if you failed. Write at least four alternate plans (even if it’s short-term). That’ll give you moral support to restore your energy.
You’ll also get less anxious about failing as you’ve already got backup.
Before You Go
“So what’s the point of making resolutions if they don’t work?”
The answer is that it doesn’t matter — “You are the captain of your life. If something isn’t working out for you for years, it’s a sign for innovation and introspection.”
Instead of setting yourself up for failure this year by focusing on lofty resolutions, why don’t you try something different?
Live in the NOW!
Start with small, achievable goals instead!
Lower your expectations; go with the flow!
Build willpower with micro-changes before testing it out on insurmountable new year’s resolutions!
What are your experiences with New Year Resolutions and other goals?
I hope you enjoyed reading my story as much I did writing it.
If you did, don’t forget to share it with your friends and family.
Before you go, I will leave you with a powerful quote from Georgina Bloomberg
“I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I think if you want to change something, change it today and don't wait until the New Year.”
Thanks for reading.
Stay happy, blessed, and safe!
See you next Wednesday!
With love,
Darshak
I read your newsletter, It's so good. It happy to find some people like me out there.
keep doing your good work.