If You Want To Stand Out In This Copy/Paste World, Adopt These Habits
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Have you ever set up a chain reaction machine using dominos?
When one domino falls, the others around it fall to create a series of changes without intervening.
But, the key is to adjust the initial domino.
In life, this initial domino is called a keystone habit — one positive habit that drives other healthy changes.
These small daily tweaks to your routine can have a massive impact on the quality of your life and can help you reach your goals without making major adjustments to your lifestyle.
As someone who had to make a big leap of faith to change my life — ditching a Masters’s degree in Engineering to pursue my dream of becoming a full-time writer — I know how hard it can be to make big changes.
That’s why I want to share how I radically changed my life in a year without drastically modifying my lifestyle.
Most articles on keystone habits focus on practices like exercising, meditating, or making the bed.
But I want to take you to a deeper level.
[1]. Install a new mental software for “emotional independence”
Do insults agitate you?
Do online trolls disturb you?
Does fear paralyze you?
Most people will argue that such responses to stimuli are normal.
I disagree!
If it were normal, “everyone” should react that way.
But I’ve seen people stay calm in turbulent times. I am sure you might have too. Talking to the calmest people I know, I learned that they taught their minds to “think right.”
It’s a habit of rewiring your mind to look at every situation through the lens of “detachment.”
It’s about setting a belief system that no matter the circumstance, you can select the response comfortable for you.
I thought people hurt me with their rude remarks. But I was wrong.
With much contemplation and reflection on turbulent life situations, I concluded, “No one feels low/hurt by anyone’s behavior/life circumstances.”
You won’t shed a tear until you think, “How can someone talk to me like that? They always speak badly of me. Others are better than me.”
Low and high feelings stem from your “thoughts.”
If you don’t believe me, journal your life for a week, and you’ll see that anyone’s action or behavior does not hurt you, but your thoughts about the situation make you feel low.
“Thinking right” is a habit of teaching your mind to create the best comfortable response irrespective of the external stimuli.
This habit is essential because it teaches you to take responsibility for your emotions instead of blaming the world for your feelings.
It also helps you become resilient. It makes you “emotionally independent.”
You control your emotions and hence the happiness meter of your life.
What changes you’ll drive through this habit:
You will feel more empowered.
Your confidence level will go up, and you’ll stop second-guessing yourself.
You will become less reactive to external stimuli and instead focus on the things that matter the most in your life.
Your mood swings will decrease.
You won’t find juice in gossip, and it will gradually decrease your indulgence.
[2]. Delete “WHY” from your vocabulary
I discovered my true strength from this line:
“The way you phrase your questions determines the quality of your life.”
Asking “why” implies a lack of control.
Asking “how” implies there is a solution waiting to be uncovered.
When you ask “why,” you’re looking for an explanation. You’re trying to make sense of something, but it doesn’t necessarily mean anything will change.
And you’ll see yourself spiraling down in the problem.
On the other hand, when you ask “how,” you’re looking for an action plan. You want to know what steps you can take to make something happen.
Asking “how” sets you up for a journey of exploration and discovery. You become curious about the possibilities instead of focusing on the limitations.
This habit teaches you to take control of your life and become proactive in finding solutions. It also prevents self-victimization thoughts like “Why life gives me curveballs? Why did all the bad things happen to me?”
It’s easy to fall into the trap of asking “why” every time something doesn’t go as planned, but this habit will help you stay positive and look beyond the obvious.
What changes you’ll drive through this habit:
Your focus will shift from blame to taking ownership of your life and proactively finding solutions.
You’ll find positives in every situation instead of getting stuck on the negative.
Your problem-solving skills will improve.
You’ll easily let go of the past.
[3]. Treat (-) as (+)
I’m talking about cutting out the noise.
Eliminate anything that doesn’t serve a purpose in your life. Get rid of that pile of clothes you don’t wear, the emails you don’t need to keep, and the apps you don’t use.
Create space for what matters.
I know what you’re thinking. “That’s it? That’s your big keystone habit?”
But..but…but…
Subtracting doesn’t mean decluttering.
It means reprogramming your mind to hoard less, think less, and feel like a master.
When you discard clutter:
You can think less
You can think more clearly
You can think right
Make better decisions
Be more present in the moment.
When you subtract the unnecessary, you make room for the essential:
You free up your time
You preserve your energy resources
You sharpen your focus, helping you accomplish one week’s work in a day.
You stop being weighed down by criticism, public opinions, gossip, etc.
And once you’ve started with subtraction, you can build on it.
Maybe you’ll find that you have more time to read or to go for a walk. Perhaps you’ll start noticing things you hadn’t before — the way the sunlight hits the leaves in the park or the sound of your breathing.
What changes you’ll drive through this habit:
Clarity of what you should do next
Higher productivity
Improved focus and concentration
Enhanced mindfulness and presence at the moment
Unaffected by what others do in their life
You’ll feel lighter day by day without waking up to an unexplained urge to run in the fast-paced world.
Closing Thoughts
These are just three of the many keystone habits that can help you take your life to the next level.
Your life starts inside. Stop working on the outside.
Start with subtraction, practice “thinking right,” and ask “how” instead of “why.”
With a few small changes, you will create big results. And when you do that consistently day after day, you’ll find yourself transforming into the person you always wanted to be.
Before you go, which habit resonated with you the most?
👉 If this post resonates with you, forward it on to your buddies!
And please, don't forget to hit that ❤️ button.
If you’re NOT using the app, respond with the word “Awesome.”
It helps others find it on Substack.
Thanks for the support! 🙌