Slow Down To Reach Your Goals Faster

Dear Friend,

Mindfulness is a superpower to deal with Pandora's box.

Oprah Winfrey taught me so.

I feel her mindful attitude and zen vibes every time I watch or listen to her. I am a big fan, even before she became a successful talk-show host.

In one of her interviews with Dr. Phil, she said, “What I know for sure is that if you are mindful and present in all encounters, life becomes richer and more rewarding — not just materially, but spiritually.”

This thought resonated with me, and I started to pay more attention to how mindful people live their lives.

After spending several years observing mindful people, reading books, watching interviews, and attending seminars, here are the 3 most important lessons I learned from them.

#1. They Transform Poison Into Nectar

As Buddha says, “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

My friend was the smartest person I knew who made me realize this reality.

One day, we were arguing about something minor, and he said something that made me so angry. I was tempted to say something hurtful back, but he stopped me.

He explained that it would be more harmful to my mental state if I dwelled on the negative thought and allowed them to fester.

He was right — I felt much better after reflecting on my thoughts and realizing that the reason for my anger wasn’t the disagreement.

Most often, anger results from some other trigger — grudges held, mental stress, wrong beliefs, etc.

A mindful person knows this fact fair and square, which makes them understand the source of their emotions.

By following this mindful practice, they transform their anger into compassion, leading to a more positive mindset and better relationships.

What You Can Do

The first step in converting anger into compassion is understanding why you’re angry. This allows you to detach from your vantage point and see things as they are.

You may have been through a lot of pain or hurt in your life, and your anger is just a way of protecting yourself. But, compassion allows you to see that anger isn’t a part of who you are, and it doesn’t have to control you.

When you realize this reality:

• You love yourself.

• You extend that love and compassion to others.

• You see the good in people, even if they’re wrong.

• You don’t hold grudges.

#2. They Focus on the Three Fingers

Most people have a habit of pinpointing others’ mistakes. But mindful people choose to follow the saying, “When you point one finger, three fingers point back to you.”

It’s so easy to say, “You did this/that…You made me angry…You ruined my day…” But it takes immense courage to look within and check the thought that emerges from anyone’s criticism or bad behavior.

I learned this mindfulness principle in a spiritual retreat. The speaker said:

“Everything that you receive without working towards it is the result of your past karma. Accept it. Tolerate it. Finish it.

If you give it back, you elongate the karmic account, and you never know when you’ll receive its consequences — maybe this birth, next, or ten births later.

And when it hits you back, you don’t remember the cause.”

It took me 4 years to understand and reflect on this subtlety of karmic philosophy. You don’t need to take the law into your hands by giving tit for tat. The results of karma follow. It may not be in the same manner or with the same multitude.

Mindful people realize the consequences of their every thought and action and act accordingly.

What You Can Do

Whenever you feel the pressure to blame anyone for their meanness, pause! Just think about why they did what they did. Give yourself ample reasons — they might be hurt, having a bad day, returning the favor of my past deeds, etc.

If it’s an opinion, treat it as one. Don’t feel the urge the react to things that don’t matter.

#3. They Know How to Change the Core of Their Actions

There’s a famous saying, “You are not what happened to you; you are what you choose to become.”

Mindful people have churned this learning to live a fulfilled life.

They stay aware of their thoughts and choose those that empower them and create the life they want to live. They know that their thoughts determine their emotions and have the power to decide how they feel.

This means they are not thinking about what happened in the past or what might happen. They experience the NOW.

For example, they acknowledge their feeling and understand why they feel that way. If they feel sad, they will allow themselves to feel the sadness and try to find out what might have caused it.

This doesn’t mean that they are perfect and never get depressed. It just means that they know how to deal with their emotions more constructively.

When they catch themselves thinking negative thoughts, they acknowledge and perform the SOS:

S — Stop

O — Observe

S — Switch

What You Can Do

Stop your work at the 59th minute of every hour. Reflect on your past hour — identify the triggers that trouble you. Acknowledge your thoughts and adopt a counter-comfortable thought response.

This practice won’t come easy, and your mind will resist. But after seven days of this mindfulness approach, you’ll see a major shift in your thinking and feelings.

Even if the progress is 1%, you’ve nailed it!

Last Thoughts

Mindfulness has become quite popular over the last few years, and for good reasons. Being mindful can improve your mental health, make you more productive, and even help you live longer.

More importantly, mindfulness can make you a better leader, coworker, friend, and partner.

All of these benefits make mindfulness an invaluable skill to have.

Have you tried incorporating mindfulness into your life? Let me know in the comments below!

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Thanks once again!

See ya next time!

Lots of love,

Darshak