The 10-Second Rule That Turns Any Argument Into an Agreeable Conversation

Here's how Socrates Never Lost an Argument (And Neither Should You)

The other day I was reading a magazine while waiting at my dentist's office when an article caught my eye.

Or I'd say, blew my mind.

The headline read: "Why Smart People Are Actually Terrible at Changing Anyone's Mind."

I almost didn't read it. Another self-help article about communication skills? Please.

But something about that headline nagged at me. Because I consider myself pretty intelligent. At least in my head (But I also know I am wrong!) I've got degrees, I read constantly, I can argue my point with the best of them. Yet when I really thought about it, I couldn't remember the last time I'd actually changed someone's mind about anything important.

So I kept reading.

The article referenced a study that made my stomach drop:

In 1962, two groups of 11-year-old boys arrived at Robbers Cave State Park in Oklahoma for what they thought was summer camp.

They didn't know was they were about to become subjects in one of the most revealing psychology experiments ever conducted.

Dr. Muzafer Sherif divided the boys into two groups and kept them separate for the first week. Each group bonded, created their own culture, and chose names. The Rattlers and the Eagles.

Then Sherif introduced competition between the groups. Baseball games. Treasure hunts. Contests with prizes only one group could win.

Here’s the actual picture:

Within days, these normal, well-adjusted kids transformed into tribal warriors. They burned each other's flags. They raided each other's cabins. They refused to eat in the same dining hall. Boys who had never met before developed genuine hatred for kids who were essentially identical to themselves.

The staff tried everything to stop the hostility. They showed movies both groups enjoyed. They organized joint meals. They gave inspiring speeches about friendship and cooperation.

Nothing worked. The hatred only intensified.

But then Sherif tried something different.