Hi friend,
Wednesday it is! I hope you’re having an amazing week filled with Fall colors.
Last weekend, I celebrated Thanksgiving with my family, talking about which I want to extend my heartiest gratitude to you for all the love you’ve showered upon me.
Thank you!
In today’s letter, I’ll be talking about some good habits we mistake as bad.
The reason I chose this topic is we often beat ourselves for practices that society considers unacceptable. Result: Stress, overthinking, and poor mental health. The worst part is we drown in guilt.
But I care about you.
I care for your mental health because I know how self-victimization tears you and your loved ones’ life apart. I have witnessed it very closely in my family, and it still haunts me.
So, this letter is purely to empower you, motivate you and make you feel good about yourself. Most importantly, to prevent you from feeling remorseful for some of the good habits that people consider bad.
So, here we go.
Bad habits! They bite your conscience. They make you feel guilty.
What if I told you that some of your bad habits are good.
No, smoking, swearing, alcohol, binge eating, picking your nose in public (Eeewww!), etc., are still bad, and there was no way these habits could be good for you in any way.
But, do you remember how our parents and teachers bugged us to stop fidgeting our legs, considering it a bad habit?
It isn’t, according to research. Fidgeting helps us calm down our anxious nerves, and it improves cardiovascular health.
Likewise, we felt guilty of many bad habits that were actually good for us.
Rather than contributing to our collective guilt, allow me to share how science backs some practices that we consider unhealthy and bad. With this understanding, I have stopped feeling remorseful. I am sure they’ll do the same for you.
So, before you embark on another “walk of shame,” here’s what you should know about some bad habits (that do good to you).
1. This bad habit undoubtedly fosters creative thinking.
Let me admit — clutter is my enemy. Anyone who clutters my house or room is my enemy.
I want everything placed perfectly. Shoes — properly stacked in the rack. Laundry — ironed, folded, and arranged aesthetically. Dirty dishes — always in the dishwasher.
This cleanliness habit stressed me out while living in the hostel. Every day I quarreled with my roommate over not making his bed. When he asked me why he should, I mumbled, “because cleanliness…is good!” Within a fraction of a second, he pulled out on online research that said,
“Leaving a bed unmade during the day dehydrates and kills mites by removing moisture from the sheets and mattress. As a result, neglecting to make your bed in the morning sometimes helps you stay healthy.”
I realized keeping clean was my problem. Not his. From his perspective, cluttering was good. His personality was different than mine. He liked being messy and throwing things here and there.
More importantly, he was right from his understanding.
Research states that a cluttered atmosphere fosters creative thinking(which my roomie was). In that study, participants were instructed to complete surveys while sitting in a clean, tidy office and others in a messy Staples workplace. They were then instructed to come up with new ways to use a Ping-Pong ball. Those who were in a cluttered space came up with a slew of new ideas.
Participants in each room were then asked to choose between the vitamin boost labeled “new” and “classic” for their smoothie. Most people in the cleanroom picked the “classic” boost, while those in the messy area chose the “new” boost.
So, researchers concluded,
“Disorganized surroundings foster creative thinking and, on sometimes, exciting, new decisions.”
Whether you’re untidy or neat is a reflection of your personality. And no personality type is incorrect since they have strong belief systems that compel them to behave in a certain way. It doesn’t imply littering is a bad habit.
2. This another bad habit is inevitable for (great) mental health.
I don’t like driving, so whenever I get a chance to sit back and relax, I do. I read a book and gaze through the windows. My friends happily take the front seat while we travel. I love them for that.
But, I don’t love their whining, screaming, and hurling of abuses in the car when someone tailgates or overtakes our car on the highway.
Whenever I tried to soothe them, they always argued, “Okay, we agree, getting mad may be dangerous to our health. But how is releasing emotions harmful? Isn’t suppressing anger more toxic than releasing?”
They’re damn right!
We’ve been taught since childhood that whining and complaining make us look like a “cry-baby” or a “complaining rat.” To be accepted by society buried our anger, fears, and complaints.
But, that way, we endangered our mental health. Why do I say that?
Research proves ~
“Those who conceal emotional distress or impulses have poorer mental health than those who express their frustration in any way.”
“We’re the worst at expressing our feelings. Therefore it’s very typical to utilize complaining mode to convey a feeling,” says Tina Gilbertson, psychotherapist and author of “Constructive Wallowing.
It’s acceptable to think of “complaining” as a harmful habit only if you can turn your negative sentiments into good ones.
But if you feel liberated from shouting about climate change or greasy French fries, go ahead and do it. However, be certain that no one is harmed.
To promote “the releasing of anger to improve mental health,” the concept of rage rooms has been introduced where you can vent out your frustration by destroying physical objects in a room.
When we consider anger bad, we fuel the unreasonable expectation of “always” being happy and cheerful.
So, let’s be real than politically correct!
3. This last bad habit has more benefits than you think.
Daydreaming is bad. From childhood, everyone taught us that fantasizing equals killing time. Some associated it with procrastination, while some considered it a way of masking inefficiencies, carelessness, and inattention.
Consequently, we not only felt guilty of this habit but also discouraged others from doing it.
But, if it's too bad, why do we seek pleasure from it?
Research says,
“When compared to ordinary work, daydreaming activates several regions of the brain involved in sophisticated problem-solving abilities. This implies that when people think with their heads, they may become stiff and solutionless.
Daydreaming, assists you in entering a cognitive state that allows you to shift your emphasis away from current duties toward other major life issues such as economics, comforts, physiological pleasures, and so on.”
When you look at it objectively, you’ll notice that daydreaming is all about imagination. Studies suggest that imagination may lead to a plethora of new possibilities, such as creativity and invention.
Daydreaming might also serve as a reminder of your goals.
If you’re spiritual, daydreaming can be considered a visualization technique to attract what you want.
So, the next time someone tells you to quit fantasizing, assist them in changing their mindset instead of feeling guilty.
Am I missing something?
I would like to hear from you:
Which bad habit do you think is most beneficial to you in your life?
Or perhaps, I didn’t mention one of your anticipated answers.
Please let me know which idea from today’s letter resonated with you the most.
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Pay Attention to Your Feeling of Overwhelm. It’s Often Followed by Procrastination.
I hope you enjoyed reading my today’s letter as much I did writing it. If you did, don’t forget to share it with your friends and family.
Before you go, I will leave you with a powerful quote from ― Roy T. Bennett’s The Light in the Heart
“Don’t let others tell you what you can’t do. Don't let the limitations of others limit your vision. If you can remove your self-doubt and believe in yourself, you can achieve what you never thought possible.”
Thanks for reading.
Stay happy, blessed, and safe!
See you next Wednesday!
With love,
Darshak
P.S ~ If you missed my last letter, you can find it here.