These Four (Subtle) Lies Stop You From Making Important Life Changes
You can’t justify these lies, no matter what.
Hi Friend,
I lied…
I lied a lot to myself!
We all do. We lie to save ourselves from punishment. This is because we have a deep-rooted belief, “lying can save us from the ill consequences of our bad Karma.”
Owing to this faulty mental programming, we lie to ourselves in addition to others. We think we can get away with a lie and prevent a change. Our minds are so creative that it creates perfect excuses (almost every time) to avoid any important life change.
There are many obvious lies — “Want to lose weight? No time. Want to fly home to meet your family? Not enough money for the plane ticket. Want to write a book? No motivation.”
All this is BS!
The scumbag mind always conjures up an excusable plan that never allows us to change something about ourselves. Besides, frequent lies used to avoid a change slowly becomes our personality as Vladimir Lenin says:
“A lie told often enough becomes the truth.” ~ Vladimir Lenin
That’s why these lies are detrimental. Besides, they’re so subtle to identify because they create an illusion of truth.
#1. My Day/Life is Incomplete Without “_____”
This lie is a perfect excuse for hiding our weaknesses. We fill this blank with different responses like morning coffee, phone, car, news, social media, shopping, porn, meat, friends, relationships, etc.
We convince ourselves that we’re incomplete without these things. This lie programs our minds to be dependent on them to experience satisfaction.
“Satisfaction doesn’t come from acquiring what we want. It comes from an understanding that external wants are just a sidekick.”
Since we have genuinely believed in this lie, we blame these responses (morning coffee, phone, car, news, social media, shopping, porn, meat, friends, relationships, etc.) for our bad days, mood swings, or irresponsible behaviors. We hide our real selves beneath the layers of these elusive lies.
This lie makes us so weak and vulnerable that we can’t take charge of our overall well-being (without them). However, the truth is there’re only a few things we can’t live without — basic (not burgers, fries, etc.) food, water, clothing, shelter, and sometimes people to quench our social needs.
Apart from these basic needs, everything is a lie to mask our weaknesses.
How to change it:
Keep telling your mind, “There’s nothing I can’t live without.”
Skip your morning coffee habit once in a while, or resist shopping, social media, news, etc., by engaging in other activities like sports, cooking, etc.
If you’re too dependent on your car, take a public transit sometimes or hop onto an uber or local taxi. When you have no car, you’ll be willing to walk a block or two.
Slowly, you’ll notice that dependency was the barrier to self-growth. Not your cravings.
#2. I Can’t Do it
We might not express this lie verbally, but mentally, we keep churning them in our minds.
You see someone on social media losing twenty pounds. Despite being awestruck, you signal your mind, “I can’t do it.”
Externally, we say, “I need motivation or some inspiration to lose weight, but we reject it with this subtle mental programming when we get one.” Since we have accepted this lie so firmly, we use supporting lies to prove it right.
We often try to justify our lies by saying, “He/She must be free all the time; it’s just the result of a crash-diet/keto/diet, I don’t have money to buy a gym membership, blah…blah…blah….”
However, deep down, you know you’re lying. Since you have entrapped yourself in your own web of lies, you feel helpless and finally succumb to your original lie, “I can’t do it.”
How to change it:
Keep telling yourself, “If he/she can do it, I can do it (too).” Use your ego. Constructively.
Retrospect the past successes that made you shed blood sweat. Then, use it as an empowering tool to do any other arduous task. Believe, “If I can do that, I can do this.”
Try to address at least one task a month that you think is tough. I always thought the piano was the most challenging skill to learn, and I couldn’t do it. But, I bought some courage and enrolled myself in a piano class. Fast forward one year, I feel confident about myself. I’m not boasting about my success. Just suggesting that this formula works.
#3. I Can Do It Later
I always had this attitude of “I will do it later.” Cleaning the room? Later. Buying groceries? Later. Getting winter tires replaced? Later. Procrastination was my best friend.
One time my father asked me to fetch some medicines from the pharmacy. Owing to my deep-rooted belief system, I said, “I will get it tomorrow when I return from work.” Then, my father sold me the most precious advice ever:
“If you can’t do it today, what makes you think you’ll get a chance to do it tomorrow.”
These words pierced my heart. This piece of advice is glued to me forever.
The reason we procrastinate is not that we fail to realize the gravity of the situation. But this deep-rooted lie has created an illusion of truth(that we’ll be able to do it later). Who knows what’ll happen the next moment? The ceiling might fall over our heads. We might get electrocuted by live wire overhead.
So why make ourselves dependent on uncertainty!
We all talk about making the future bright. But how can it be when the present is dull and lazy!
This lie is so detrimental that it steals the enthusiasm forever.
How to change it:
Stop procrastinating. It’s challenging but doable. Find ways to get the work done asap. Seek help to finish off the task at hand (if possible). Your external approach will slowly change your internal belief system.
Do exactly the opposite of what your mind suggests. If your mind says to procrastinate, do it right away. Slowly your mind will change its language of postponing things.
#4. One Last Time Won’t Hurt Much
Sounds familiar?
We all use this lie almost daily. For example, you’re trying hard to give up smoking, and a friend offers you one. As much you want to resist, your mind says, “One last time won’t hurt much.”
So you succumb to your temptations. This scenario repeats the second time. And then the third time. Slowly it becomes a habit of using this lie without feeling guilty.
There’re many situations where we use this kind of lie.
Binge-watching. One more episode. And then one more…
Sweets/Chocolates/Ice-creams on strict diet days.
Saying yes to late-night parties.
Alcoholic drinks.
Unfortunately, one last time becomes the first time of breaking self-commitments. And then the never-ending chain continues. Forever.
This lie lowers our willpower to such an extent that we realize that we're not even close when we notice our commitments to give up on toxic habits.
How to change it:
Stick to your plan. Even if you feel like you’re going to succumb to your temptations, don’t use this lie (mentally). Instead, ask yourselves, “If I don’t resist today, then when?”
Give ample reasons to yourself for quitting bad habits. Then, abuse your toxic habits so that your subconscious mind helps you hate and distance yourself from them.
These lies or excuses may not seem like a big deal initially. But as we use them more frequently, they start showing their ill effects in our lives. They create an illusion of truth and prevents us from making important healthy lifestyle changes.
Thanks a lot for taking the time to read this newsletter; it means the world to me!
Take care, stay safe, and see you next week!
With love,
Darshak
P.S ~ If you missed my last letter, you can find it here.
I think my comment can mean you something you deserve..keep going.