These Thought Patterns Keep You Trapped In Overthinking

Know what keeps you trapped in overthinking to easily come out of it

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The roots of overthinking do not lie within a single event or experience.

They are buried deep in your unconscious habits and thought patterns that you actively cultivate without realizing it.

But how do they start?

According to scientific research, the three origins of overthinking are:

1. Interpersonal dynamics:

If you send a text and don’t get a reply, you might start overthinking why they didn’t respond.

Even if the reason is as simple as them being busy.

2. Sense-of-self issues:

When we’re unsure of who we are or how we fit in, our brain tries to “solve” this mystery by overthinking.

Think of it like trying to assemble a puzzle without the picture.

You keep turning the pieces, trying to make them fit.

Overthinking is your mind’s way of turning and testing those pieces.

3. Weird worries:

Our brains are wired to protect us, so they sometimes imagine problems or outcomes that aren’t happening.

It’s like your brain gets stuck on a loop, replaying scenarios or questions.

What’s worse?

Over time, if we don’t manage it, these origins can lead to habitual overthinking about unlikely or unrealistic concerns.

These habits can become so deeply ingrained that we don’t even recognize their power over us.

I discovered this subtlety five years ago when I started morning journaling and bedtime reflection — writing down every thought, emotion, and feeling.

What I found was my overthinking habits stemmed from certain toxic thought patterns and habits, which can be summed up as follows:

The Time I Almost Bought 100 Rubber Ducks

My friend and I were brainstorming ideas for his eighteenth birthday.

And we stumbled upon stumbled upon a website selling rubber ducks.

Instantly, we’re like, “What if we throw a duck-themed party?” or “What if rubber ducks become the next big trend?”

Before we knew it, we were pondering buying 100 of those squeaky fellas.

Eventually, we didn’t.

Thankfully.

But we lost a major chunk of outer time and energy justifying an irrational thought.

What ifs often strike me as a writer.

“What if people don’t like it?

What if they criticize me?”

The spiraling of countless “what ifs” clouds my mind, making a simple decision feel enormous.

Research states that what-ifs can cloud our rational thinking if they are:

• Unrealistic:
  
  “What if I win the lottery?”
  
  or
  
  “What if I get abducted by aliens?”
  
  They are unlikely scenarios that can distract us from more realistic issues.

• Negative:
  
  “What if I fail the exam?”
  
  “What if I lose my job?”
  
  or
  
  “What if she refuses my proposal?”
  
  These are pessimistic thoughts that only increase anxiety and stress.

• Repetitive:
  
  These happen mostly during a minor hiccup.

  
  For example, “What if I said something different?” or “What if I did something wrong?”

  
  or
  
  “What if they had met with an accident?”
  
  They often stem from our imagination, as our brains are wired to think about problems or outcomes that aren’t happening.

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But I’ve learned one thing round and square:

The more you think…the more you think…the more you think…the more you think…the more you think…the more you think…the more you think…the more you think…the more you think…the more you think…the more you think…

The only way to break this chain is to take action with an intention.

Ask yourself, “Is this thought realistic? Is it helpful?”

If the answer is “No,” then it might be time to take a deep breath, count to three, and say, “Thanks for the input, brain, but I got this!”

As Mark Twain once said:

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

The other tactic that works is changing the narrative. Replace the what-ifs with something else — Something positive:

• What if I succeed?

• What if they love me?

• What if I’m amazing?

Don’t let the “What Ifs” rob you of your peace.

The Paradox Of Choice

“What kind of sandwich would you like to have?” asked the cafeteria server.

I paused. “What’s the best sandwich you have?”

“Well, our grilled cheese is the best-selling,” he replied.

I began analyzing: “What defines ‘best-selling’? Is it taste? Nutrition?”

My mental chatter started: “But what about condiments? Bread types? Toasted or not toasted?”

Seeing a long queue behind me, he raised an eyebrow with a hint of amusement in his eyes. “It’s just a sandwich, Sir. Pick what you feel like eating.”

I realized I was caught in an endless loop of overthinking.

Trying to find the perfect answer made a simple choice seem like a huge one.

He gently reminded me, “Sometimes, the best sandwich is the one you feel like eating right now.”

A quote from “The Paradox of Choice” by Barry Schwartz aptly describes:

“More isn’t always better.”

By overanalyzing, I’d forgotten the joy of simply enjoying a sandwich.

What was initially a simple question can quickly turn complex and overwhelming.

The best approach is usually acceptance rather than analysis.

What I mean by that is this: instead of diving into an endless spiral of analysis, simply go with your instincts.

If it’s about a professional decision, ask yourself, “Will this matter in a week? A month? A year?”

If the answer is no, then let it go.

Period.

Jumping From Idea To Idea Too Quickly

I’m sure you’re thinking, “Darshak, isn’t having a lot of ideas a good thing? Isn’t that what creativity is all about?”

Well, “There’s a difference between having a lot of ideas and jumping from one idea to the next without taking action.”

Experts call it a cognitive distortion.

When you’re an idea hopper, you don’t give any of them the time and attention they deserve.

You constantly second-guess yourself and don’t justify the time to fully explore each idea.

Whereas rational thinking is when you use logic, evidence, and reason to evaluate situations and make decisions.

Jumping from idea to idea is like having too many tabs open on your computer.

Eventually, things start to slow down, freeze, and— worst-case scenario — you get the dreaded “blue screen of death” (but for your brain).

Psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema writes in the book “Women Who Think Too Much:”

Scattered thoughts can mess up your problem-solving abilities and make you feel like you’re stuck in mental quicksand.

Creativity is not about having a million ideas.

It’s about taking one idea and making it great. It’s about putting in the time and effort to make that idea amazing.

My mantra is to take no more than 24–48 hours to explore each idea and take action fully.

If I can’t make a decision in that time frame, I move on to the next.

This rule gives me enough time and energy to feed on a particular idea and know whether it’s worth the effort.

It’s better to take imperfect action than to wait for the perfect opportunity that may never come.

Grab that mental leash and say, “Sit, Brain, Sit!”

Expecting a Gold Star

Write one article. Expect a thousand claps, likes, and reactions.

Post a pic on Instagam. Expect everyone to like it.

If this expectation is met, happiness shoots.

If not?

People don’t like me. I am no good. Next time, I won’t like their picture either.

I don’t know about you, but that was my story.

I waited for likes and comments as if they were golden tickets to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.

That was the best recipe for mental chaos.

Why?

Because I was dying for validation, and not from Oompa Loompas!

Expecting validation is like trying to catch a fly with chopsticks. It’s elusive and leaves you stuck in your own head.

According to a research study:

“People who seek validation are less likely to take action because they’re too busy weighing all possible outcomes.”

In my case, I questioned my choices, likes, and preferences.

Only because people didn’t validate my social media posts.

I was so obsessed with looking good and trying to be politically correct so that people would accept me.

When my mental health collapsed, I was forced to burst this bubble with the help of professionals and strict self-imposed laws.

My learnings:

Love yourself. Accept your flaws.

Social media isn’t real. Hammer this idea into your head until your life is free from its validation.

Cut the chatter by taking action.

You like that shirt?

Buy it.

Want to try painting?

Go for it.

Just don’t stand there pondering like you’re solving a Rubik’s Cube.

Choosing The Wrong Remote Control

Why do they come late?

Why is their behavior rude?

Why don’t they understand me?

Questioning others’ behavior = wasting time and energy.

The only reason is we don’t pose one question.

One question leads to another.

And then another. Until we’re drenched with negativity and mental irritation.

But, the truth is people have their own reasons for doing things the way they do.

“The more you try to control something, the more it controls you.”

Just the way we can’t stop thinking about “why people don’t change,” they can’t stop thinking about why we don’t change.

When I catch myself in this pattern, I like to remind myself that it’s not my job to control or change others.

What matters is how I react and how I choose to respond.

Closing thoughts

You don’t have to stay trapped.

You have the power to break free from these habits and live the life you want.

So, take action today.

Start by identifying which toxic habits you need to break and then take the necessary steps to overcome them.

It won’t be easy, but nothing worth having ever is.

It’s your life, your dreams, and your goals.

Don’t let overthinking and toxic habits hold you back.

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