To Grow, Let Go Of These Comfort Cushions
Do you feel that you don’t have time to do what you want?
Do you feel that life is not giving you a chance to pursue your dreams?
If yes, you are not alone. I had the same feelings a few years back.
I wanted to do many things until the age of 25, which I have not yet achieved or close enough to fulfill.
But the realization came from this one sentence from Jerry Bruckner:
The biggest mistake you can make in life is to waste your time.
Wasting time is wasting life because both, once lost, can’t be regained.
I threw away life by spending it on trivialities!
I wasted precious productive years of my life focusing my resources elsewhere.
Not that my life was over, but some regrets pinch you hard.
I then vowed to change the course of my life by identifying the black-hole habits that sucked my time. The list was endless, but I share only three because these can be changed right away.
Though I still fall for these darling habits, the frequency has drastically reduced. Life goals that once seemed far now look achievable within a certain time frame.
The #1 Time Killer
Screen time is a guilty pleasure.
But I wouldn’t call it a true pleasure because it makes you guilty. Anything that bites your conscience can’t be a pleasant activity. Hours of doomscrolling and not doing productive work sucks!
It would not be wrong to say that we all are married to screens. Smartphones have become soulmates.
Toilets, theatres, dining tables — no matter wherever you go, screens accompany you.
But that is the worst kind of relationship you ever want to have. WHY?
You lose a precious chunk of your life every time you succumb to temptation! And you can’t get that back!
Statistics confirm that an average individual spends approximately 3 hours and 15 minutes daily using screens.
Let's do the Math:
1 Day = 3 hours 15 minutes
7 Days = (3 hours 15 minutes * 7) = 22 hours 45 minutes
Holy smokes!
You lose almost one day every week.
That is outrageous. Isn’t it?
So, how can you prevent it?
Here’s What Can Help
Enroll in learning a new skill each month. It can be playing a piano or guitar, reading a book (not a novel), growing some plants in your backyard, learning how to bake, etc. This hack will help you stay away from screens for a long time without using willpower.
Set time limits on your social media and entertainment apps. This rule will help you manage your time on virtual platforms.
Dedicate no more than an hour to leisure and entertainment activities like watching Netflix or television shows.
Tip: Stay away from watching top trending shows. They are a trap, and you’ll be like quicksand.Refrain from having multiple streaming service accounts. (Netflix, Youtube Premium, Disney, Amazon Prime, Hulu, HBO Now,….infinity)
The more subscriptions you have, the less time you’ll have for yourself.Make a to-do list of what you want to do in your life and revise them at least once a week. Sometimes, a realization of lagging keeps your habits in check.
Going With The Flow
If you closely monitor, most people you meet in your daily lives cry about lousy weather, petty political systems, and sometimes their past relationships’ failures.
We all have been in such situations when we talked nonsense very elaborately with strangers at transits or while waiting in queues and then complained, “They wasted my one hour.”
We could have, and we should have, averted the wasteful talk.
But we mostly choose not to because we feel that would be a sentimental insult.
I am not saying you must bluntly say NO. Find creative ways to protect your creative energy.
“Anyone who takes your time is a thief. Protect your time, it’s what makes up your life.”
~ J.R. Rim
The damage doesn’t stop there.
After people have unloaded their emotional baggage on you, you feel exhausted and stressed. This effect is because of the law of vibrational energy. The negative toxic vibrations lower your positive energy.
Anything that makes you feel fatigued mentally is negative energy. And you need to stay away from it. Physically first. Mentally second. Don’t let anyone invade your mental peace.
You can apply this rule to toxic relationships and dissatisfying jobs too. It doesn’t make sense to hold a relationship where both partners are unhappy with each other.
Also, sticking to unsatisfied jobs will only bring pain, misery, and regrets in life.
If you don’t stay away from such toxicity, you will lose your creative energy.
But how can you diplomatically turn down these people?
Here’s What Can Help
Whenever you have a social gathering or meeting, think ahead of time about your conversation. Instead of talking about the weather, politics, world affairs, etc., appreciate people and talk about their lives. They love to hear about them, so use them as a tool.
If you can turn down any meeting with such people, you must. Learn the art of saying NO.
Whenever people gossip, politely stop them by saying. “let’s talk about something else, or start appreciating their attire.” Intelligent people will understand you are avoiding gossip.
Educate people by furnishing valid reasons for not talking about unimportant things and how they are harmful. You can include families and friends in this category as they genuinely care about you.
Escape from the situation by faking an emergency. This tip is my personal favorite.
The Disastrous Habit of Ignoring The Present
Okay, we all have this subtle bad habit.
We daydream and build castles in the air. Not only that, we talk about it and kill time.
Besides, we reminisce the past mistakes and ruminate about the problems without doing anything about them.
“Dwell in the past and you stay there. Jump in the future and get lost. The only way to stay alive is to use the present.”
Recalling past events and experiences traps us in the cobweb of pain and suffering.
If I am wrong, ask yourself if you ever experienced happiness after recalling a past event. Nostalgia only brings resentment. Either you crave to go back in time or regret not acting correctly.
In any case, you’re only harming yourselves by wasting the present.
Also, thinking about the future makes you lost in the world of fantasy. You daydream about an extravagant future life without considering your resources and strengths. You sail in three ships at one time — past, present, and future. But you forget that you can only fruitfully use one ship, i.e., present.
From my experience, only two things emerge from this habit:
A few moments of temporary pleasure followed by pain.
Realization and regret of wasting time.
The latter one is so powerful that it almost kills the joy.
So, why not stop it. But how?
Here’s What Can Help
Focus on one activity at a time. This will prevent a scattered focus.
Set an hourly alarm that keeps your mental attention in check.
Educate yourself about daydreaming and what triggers it. Analyze why did it occur. Understand its purpose and its consequences. This technique will help you in making amendments, not to repeat them.
Stay away from people who shift your focus from the present. Most of the time, people talk about the past and lose the precious present merry-making time in social gatherings.
To encash the present, try mindful techniques to stay focussed on your present time. Meditation and yoga empower you to erase the pain of past failures and failed relationships.
Closing Thoughts
“I do not want to waste any time. And if you are not working on important things, you are wasting time.”
What’s done is done. Past has passed. You can’t change the past, and you can’t bring back the time wasted.
But you can start straight away to make things right.
And realization is the best way to change yourself for good.
So, realize the worth of your lives and make them meaningful before it reaches their expiry date.
Did you find my letter motivating?
If yes, consider sharing it with your friends and family.
If not, please help me improve.
Thanks once again!
See ya next time!
Lots of love,
Darshak